Somewhere there is this unspoken rule that because I am a Christian, I have to be nice to everyone I meet. Throw in the additional bonus of me being a Pastor’s Wife… and BOOM!

Suddenly the image of a perfect woman has been formed. For some… not for the majority, but there are a few in my life – in my offline “real” life who believe this is what should be.


By nature, I am a very friendly person. I probably smile 90% more than I frown and I’m very good at making people feel welcome but if you cross that invisible line and repeatedly insult or hurt me or anyone in my family, I don’t have to pretend to like you. 


This is probably the only circumstance where, dare I say it… I don’t have to be nice!

There are a ton of wonderful Scriptures about love, forgiveness and not walking in offense. I know each and every one of them off by heart, I’ve even preached & blogged a few great messages on them.

But as of late, there are a small handful of people who I know in my offline life, who are getting under my skin.

For example, if someone texts anyone in my family nasty, mean things, or accuses them of thievery, or cheats on them, or tries to sway people that I was far worse as a teen than I was, or calls me Jezebel, or makes any of my family members cry… I may just show you a little more sass than saint!

Don’t worry, I am big enough to know my own weakness when it comes to this particular “shortcoming” in my life. You don’t need to point it out.

And yet, out of the blue an anonymous comment was left on my blog the other day. A wonderful post my Dad had shared with me about a personal God-experience he’d had 20+years ago. One I was very proud of. One where I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Word of God works when you apply it to your own life and circumstances. A post where I gushed about how much I love my fantastic father. There among the comments was someone calling me and my entire family “phoney” (btw… it is spelled phony) accusing me of calling out people in such anger on my blog and “twitters”, which isn’t love, the foundation of the Christian faith and that I should be ashamed of myself.

I’ve been thinking about that comment ever since. A wise woman in my life just recently gave me some good advice, I should take every criticism that comes my way and sift it, see if there’s something to be gleaned from it and then throw the rest away.

So I’m sifting it here.

You know those moments when you’re really mad; you’re about to text or write an email to someone who has royally TICKED.YOU.OFF but you pause and think and then press delete…

Well, I admit, I have failed at the delete part a few times in my life.

My fingers got the best of me while tweeting one day, calling those who were guilty of one or more of the heinous crimes listed above, “low-lifes.” Probably not the most sane moment in my life. I rarely tweet angry and I never randomly call people out, but at this particular moment, I was rather indignant.

Should read, “only tweet while calm”

The only other time I can remember where I let someone get the best of me (besides the incredulous person we’re still in litigation with over my FIL’s next-to-nothing estate)… was when someone posted on my personal Facebook wall, “What state is the church in when a Pastor’s Wife supports all that is evil?”  I had shared a video of my niece dancing in a flash-mob to Micheal Jackson’s song, “Thriller.” She was in grade 7 and did a flash-mob in her local small-town mall and that in itself should be celebrated.

It did spur on a great and powerful sermon though! What was meant for evil against me, God turned into good. 🙂
Come to think about it, I didn’t need to call them out, they did that all by themselves.

To this day, that particular person continues to post on their Facebook wall their disapproval with me, as a Pastor’s Wife, and the choices I make for my family. Which frankly, is none of their business! Just wait until I post about the time I took my daughter and 2 friends to see P!nk in concert…

I’ve come to the conclusion that walking in Love, which yes is an important part of the Christian faith (btw anonymous person who is a Christian, calling me phony on my blog, that’s like the pot calling the kettle black if you ask me), it doesn’t mean I have to like them and in fact, it doesn’t mean I have to be nice to them at all.

To be a Christian means to be “Christ-Like” and Jesus had a few fan-freaking-tastic words for certain legalistic religious folk!! 🙂

Here’s where the sifting process helped in this situation, I am sure of my position in Christ and nothing can shake that from me. I am confident in who I am and where I am going. I know what I have been put on this earth to do and I am doing it and I am doing it well!

So… while I don’t wish them harm or for evil to befall them (see, that’s love ‘ish…) I understand why they feel the need to light the cannons.

People tend to reflect to the world, the way they feel about themselves… ~ Wil Wheaton


I'm the Cool Mom of 4, Married to the Preacher Man, but at times I'm a little more Sass than Saint!

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  1. I love you Shannon! Just saying. You're such an amazing woman and one people can truly look up to and admire. xo

  2. BINGO! You hit the nail on the head with this one, Shash! That sifting process is really important. Sift away, sister!

    A word to those who make it their business to call others out on non-essentials of the Christian life:

    “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”
    ― Mother Teresa

    Love you, lady!
    ~ Raylene

    1. love that quote Raylene! sums it up perfectly 🙂 Shannon, your love for people and mercy heart is what attracts people to you and to Christ xo Being a christian does NOT mean to allow peopleto talk smack about you or your family!

  3. What is that saying…. Haters gonna hate. Delete comment and move on. You are a wonderful person.

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