Before Christmas, I had the privilege of speaking at a women’s event at Peace Portal Church, sharing a portion of a message that deeply shaped my faith: Belong. Believe. Behave. For too long, we’ve believed that we must fix ourselves before God will accept us, but Scripture reveals the opposite—belonging comes first. When we know we are welcomed and loved by God, belief follows naturally, and transformation flows from that foundation. This post unpacks how belonging shapes faith, belief grows from love, and true change starts from the inside out. Whether you’ve ever felt like an outsider in faith or want to create spaces of belonging for others, this message is for you.

Belong. Believe. Behave. (In That Order!)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like you didn’t belong? Like you were on the outside looking in? It’s a feeling that sticks with you, shaping how you see yourself, how you interact with others, and even how you approach faith. For years, many of us have been taught that the way to acceptance is through performance. Behave well, follow the rules, get everything right—and then, maybe, you’ll belong. But God’s kingdom doesn’t work that way. His order is: Belong. Believe. Behave.

1. Belonging: The Foundation of Faith

Before you ever made a choice, before you even knew God’s name, He had already chosen you. Ephesians 1:4-5 says that before the foundation of the world, God set His love on us and called us His own. That means our belonging isn’t conditional—it’s not based on our performance, our knowledge, or how “good” we are. It’s based on His love.

The Power of Being Welcomed

Think back to a time when someone made you feel truly welcome. Maybe it was a friend who invited you in when you were new at school. Maybe it was a coworker who made sure you had a seat at the lunch table. Belonging isn’t about grand gestures—it’s about the quiet, steady assurance that you are wanted.

That’s what happened when my family moved to British Columbia. We were new, unsure of where we fit, but then our youngest son made a few friends at school. Through those friendships, we found our way to Peace Portal Church. And here’s what made us stay: we felt like we belonged. Someone invited us for lunch after a service, and that simple act of hospitality became the bridge to our new faith community.

Brené Brown says, “True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.” That’s exactly what God offers—belonging that isn’t based on performance but on relationship.

Biblical Example: Jesus and Zacchaeus (Luke 19:1-10)

Zacchaeus was an outcast. A tax collector—hated by his community and seen as a traitor. And yet, Jesus didn’t wait for Zacchaeus to clean up his act before engaging with him. He saw him. He called him down from the tree. He invited Himself over for dinner. Before Zacchaeus repented, before he changed his ways, Jesus made it clear: You belong with me.

That’s the kind of belonging that changes everything.

2. Believe: The Natural Response to Love

When you know you belong, belief follows. It’s hard to trust when you feel like an outsider, but your heart opens when you’re welcomed, loved, and seen.

Learning to Trust Through Relationship

I didn’t see this firsthand, but I learned about it through my work at CanIL, where we train people to translate the Bible into languages that have never had Scripture before. In Nigeria, a tribe heard God’s Word in their heart language for the first time, and something clicked. They realized—maybe for the first time—that they belonged to God. And that sense of belonging led them to believe.

It wasn’t just words on a page; it was God speaking directly to their hearts in a language they understood. That moment of recognition—God sees me. God knows me. God calls me His own—transformed their lives.

Biblical Example: The Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32)

The Prodigal Son didn’t believe in his father’s love when he was in the pigpen. He thought he had messed up too badly and lost his place in the family. But the moment he went home, before he even had a chance to explain himself, his father ran to him, embraced him, and threw a feast.

That’s belief born out of belonging.

C.S. Lewis put it this way: “To be loved by God… is the thing not merely to believe, but to know, to feel, to rejoice in, to live on.”

When we know we belong to God, belief moves from something we struggle to hold onto—to something that holds onto us.

3. Behave: A Life Transformed

If belonging is the foundation and belief is the anchor, then behaviour is the overflow. It’s not about striving or proving ourselves—it’s about transformation.

The Change We See in Love

When someone loves you deeply, it changes you. Think about a healthy marriage, a strong friendship, or even the way a child thrives under a parent’s care. Love creates safety, and from that safety, we grow.

Ephesians 4:22-24 says, “Put off your old self… be made new in the attitude of your minds… put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”

Behaviour change isn’t about meeting a standard. It’s about responding to love.

Biblical Example: Peter’s Transformation

Peter went from denying Jesus three times to boldly preaching in front of thousands (Acts 2). What changed? Not a stricter moral code, not a self-help program—but an encounter with Jesus’ love. He knew he belonged. He believed in God’s faithfulness. And that belief fueled his actions.

Tim Keller said, “The gospel is this: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time, we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.”

When we start from love, change isn’t forced—it’s inevitable.

Living This Out

So, what does this look like in everyday life?

1. Create belonging for others.

Who in your life needs to know they’re seen, loved, and welcome? A simple invitation—a meal, a coffee, a conversation—can change everything.

Challenge: Think of someone in your church, workplace, or neighbourhood who might feel like an outsider. How can you make space for them?

2. Let belief take root.

God’s love isn’t something we earn; it’s something we receive. Rest in the truth that you belong to Him.

Challenge: Write down a verse about God’s love and keep it where you’ll see it every day. Let it sink in.

3. Live out the transformation.

When we belong and believe, our lives start to reflect that love—through kindness, integrity, and grace.

Challenge: Instead of focusing on behaviour first, ask yourself: How can I let God’s love shape me today?

Final Thoughts: Paul’s Prayer for Us

Paul’s prayer in Ephesians 3:14-19 sums it up beautifully:

“I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.”

That’s the truth: You belong. You are loved. And because of that, your life will never be the same.

Let’s start there.