Have you ever heard that phrase or even said it yourself? “Hey, I was just kidding”. How’s this for a conversation… Someone sees you giving someone a gift, that person comes up to you while you’re giving the gift or soon afterwards and makes an off-the-cuff remark, “You never gave me anything….. just joking. I don’t care.” What is the truth behind that persons statement? I truly believe offence is one of them…

I’ve never been a fan of this type of communication. I know I’m not guilt-free from doing this myself and again I know it’s mostly used as a defense mechanism. I want to say something back or react at something and not sound cruel or serious or mean or even hurt. That’s probably the biggest one…. a reaction to a hurt. I want to change.

The Scripture that leaps to mind (one of a few) is, “For out of the heart ~ the mouth speaks.” Luke 6:45 Your true being brims over into true words and deeds. I know words are important but just as important are the words you choose at the moment you choose them. Why are you saying what you are saying?

Another reason for using this phrase is under the guise of deceit. Trying to mislead or trick someone. Proverbs 26:18-19 in The Message says, “People who shrug off deliberate deceptions, saying, “I didn’t mean it, I was only joking”, Are worse than careless campers who walk away from smoldering campfires.”

What we say and how we say it and why we say it is important. Doesn’t it say somewhere that on judgement day we’ll be held accountable for every idle word…

I’m not saying that no one can ever joke around with me ever again. Humour is one thing – this is a whole other thing.

What causes a person to constantly communicate this way?!


I'm the Cool Mom of 4, Married to the Preacher Man, but at times I'm a little more Sass than Saint!

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  1. I know somebody who is constantly giving little “jabs” at people or situations and then quickly responds with “just kidding” and immediately starts to laugh.

    How would I mention this as the wrong way to be part of a conversation when I know this person would be incredibly offended and upset that somebody would “dare” to say something.

    The last thing I want to do is cause this person to pull back farther than they already have, but I feel that letting them know how people may feel about their comments would be the first step towards changing for the better.

    I have not mentioned this to anybody else as that would be gossip. This, however, I don’t consider gossip because I am trying to find a constructive way to help them.

    Any ideas on this.

  2. That type of “communication” just boils me. Seriously, SAY it if ya have something to say! my sister is the Queen of these comments. pft.

  3. I am guilty of this sometimes too and often as soon as you say “just joking” you know you have responded with a half truth. I think other times it is a result of not thinking about what you say before you say it.

  4. I agree with your thoughts completely. I try hard not to say, “Just kidding.”

    I think people use “Just kidding” deliberately, as a cue, perhaps hoping that the listener will take special note of what’s just been said. I think it’s a way of underlining a spoken statement, or yellow-highlighting it. “Just kidding” actually works in reverse. Instead of deflecting attention away from their statement, it actually draws our attention to it.

    Fascinating study, isn’t it?

  5. Amen. I also like to apply the scripture that speaks of us giving account for every idle word. We will give account for the damage our words have caused.

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