Views expressed in this letter are a compilation of thoughts, ideas that have been expressed to the author throughout her years serving in ministry. These thoughts are not a direct reflection of her view on ministry, but a compiled viewpoint from hundreds of women in ministry. 
This is a guest post.
Dear Church Member,
You’re a church member, so automatically you THINK you know me or who I am. You see me as someone super Holy, as someone who speaks in tongues before every meal, wakes up at 4 in the morning to have Jesus time, and I have the whole bible memorized cover to cover in three translations and in Greek.
Just because my hubby is an amazing preacher and musician doesn’t make me one as well. I do like to sing but play an instrument, not a chance. Speak; oh I love to but in my own way, not my hubby’s. Oh and you think because I’m a pastors wife I have a calling to teach Children’s Ministry, think again, I love your kids but oh you don’t want me to teach them.
Swing by my house and you will be in for the shock of your life. If it’s before 9:30 AM I won’t be wearing a bra, or have a single bed made. My house won’t be picked up until well… and homemade meal; how’s a frozen waffle?
Some days the house is together, I’ve had a workout, the kids all got baths and teeth are brushed, the laundry is done, I prayed over every need, and there are days that I wish you could see…
I’m just a normal chic like you. I want to be loved and accepted for not having it all together.
I am aware of my pitfalls and my wrong doings and are working on them but I don’t need you to tell me or anyone else about what I’m not good at.
Many times my husband leans on me to lift him up after he comes home from hearing about marriages broken, someone dying, the latest trend in drugs that are sweeping the nation and robbing our children of innocence, or the latest church member who thinks they know things they don’t and can do things 100x better than he is. Beyond that, we are normal people who like to go on dates, like to engage with our community events, and love to have family time.
My children are no different then yours, they are kids who are learning to live life, have self-control and grow up in this dark world. I promise you this, you pray for your kids and I’ll pray for mine. If you think you can do better in raising my kids then I’ll send them to your home to take a shower in the Holy Water that God placed in your home. You can return them to me when they have the same obedience and level of respect as your children. If my children stumble please don’t find the need to tell us we are unworthy to Pastor but rather hold our arms up and pray for us to love and guide our children in the FEAR of the Lord.
My spiritual side of life is lacking most of the time because I, just like you, have 24 hours in the day and am a taxi, a mommy, a wife, a secretary, a counselor, a laundry maid (who always makes her own laundry soap & irons everything including undies), a chef (trying to keep up with latest trends) and did I mention a T-Ball coach, dance mom, fundraiser chair, women’s ministry organizer and the list goes on.
The deep side of me longs to sit over a cup of coffee with a girlfriend who doesn’t want to bleed me for information on someone else, doesn’t want to one-up someone else because they are bff’s, or someone who needs to pour out their life drama. I want to go shopping and have play-dates and have a normal life like you do. I don’t want anyone to pretend around me for the sake of feeling like they have to hide their real life.
Don’t get me wrong, I have the greatest pleasure and smile on my face from having the honor of an up front seat of God moving across our church, your life and the lives in and around our community. Nothing brings me more joy then to see someone meet Jesus for the first time, or to find freedom in Him, or for people’s lives to be surrendered and forever changed and transformed. It’s an honor and a privilege to serve you and your family, and I don’t take it lightly.
So to sum this up, I’m just a chic like you, longing for a shopping buddy, a friend who wants nothing but to just be friends, and be invited over when you are have gatherings. I’m not too busy to just be, I’m just like you.


Written by Rachael from Girlfriends With A Purpose

I’m a daughter of the most high, married to a wonderful man of God, blessed beyond measure to have 3 beautiful children. My husband and I are in full time ministry. We are headed into a huge transition in our life. We are leaving our job as the worship pastors at our current church to embrace the call of planting a church almost 1000 miles away! We have been thru many seasons of ministry. Lot’s of hurts & pains but also healing and growth. 
Join me as i find a group of girlfriends who can love each other extravagantly as we share together the things we can laugh & cry about. The daily struggles of ministry and the joys of being able to love people like Christ would. Drop me a line at girlfriendwithapurpose [at] gmail {dot} com and let me know your heart for Ministry Wives!


I'm the Cool Mom of 4, Married to the Preacher Man, but at times I'm a little more Sass than Saint!

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  1. Two thumbs way UP!!

    Great job, Rachel.

    Thanks, Shannon, for posting this.

  2. Call me crazy but isn't there something about not judging others? Can't say for sure since currently I can't get my baby baptized as no church I have contacted will accept us since well we don't go to church lol but I could have sworn there was something about not judging and being accepting of others. Would the pastor and his wife not be just as worthy of the acceptance and non judging?

  3. PS Come to my city and we can go for coffee. Otherwise coffee in October.

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