Shash & La La – 2012

My baby sister wrote this on her Facebook wall about me today… I wanted to share it with you.

In my life and this journey I have lived, I have had many people come and go in my “close circle”. Kind of like how seasons change so does your close circle. I am fortunate enough to have been born with 3 older sisters and a couple of cousins who have felt more like sisters than cousins and even a foster sister who still loves me 🙂 and I love her! and a couple of life long friends that are more like a sister than otherwise. That is a blessing! Now I have more sister in laws and nieces than I can count 🙂 and I feel the love in my circle has grown! again… I am blessed!
Through my trials in the last several years 2 of my sisters have stood by me so closely that at times they were oxygen for me. Just that simple! I can’t imagine going through what I did without them there holding me up. I am forever grateful for them and our bond is forever solidified. 
One of my sisters came under attack because she was standing so strong beside me… defending me… holding me up… being protective in ways only big sisters can be. She still stood regardless of what the attacks were… and sadly still are!
This sister is a Pastor’s Wife… a title I am relieved is not mine to carry! I have watched this sister struggle through things in her teens and then blossom and become this incredible woman she is today! it’s a true transformation that only comes from Grace and understanding forgiveness. I watch her give all of herself all the time to her family and her church family. I see the drain that comes with the title… the unsaid and said expectations others have on her and it literally BLOWS my mind! I do not envy her the title and ALL that comes with it. It makes me question why anyone would ever want to be a Pastor at all?!! they have to live in a glass house and be open to criticizm for every thing they do and don’t do and at the same time try to live in today’s society and raise their children…. did I mention it BLOWS my mind?!
So why are we so critical of Pastor’s and Pastor’s Wives? why do we feel we can criticize them so openly and freely and put our own expectations on them? are they to be “past” free? are they never allowed to make mistakes or have real opinions? are they not allowed their own lives? are they not allowed to be like everyone else? this title gives others freedom to judge every action? every word the person says? BLOWS my mind!!! 
I understand that being a Pastor’s Wife is so much more than a title… I look at her and see my sister… she was my childhood best friend and my childhood tormentor 🙂 and one of the people I love most in this world…. she is kind and giving, generous and compassionate, she understands grace and forgiveness, she is funny and a huge ball of fun, she is outgoing and adventurous… she is a fantastic mom and I get the honor of calling her friend and sister! I am blessed!

La La and Shash – circa 1975

To my little La La,

As your big sister, I feel it is my duty to stand up for you against the bullies and meanies in your life. I’m sorry they don’t see you for the beautiful, compassionate, hard-working and generous person that you are and have always been. They are truly missing out! Which is very distressing since they’ll be connected to you for the rest of their lives…

They can call me names, threaten to “expose” the things I did as the vivacious adolescent I was, and call into question the “quality” of Pastor’s Wife I have become. In the best Rhett Butler voice I can muster, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn!”

Looking back, it probably wasn’t the wisest decision to poke the crazy… when my sister’s heart is breaking, it’s so hard to hold my tongue or my tweet.   

In the end, the last few years have bolstered our relationship my sweet sister, reinforced a bond that cannot be broken and solidified the fact that this family can’t be messed with. 🙂

I love you lots and lots. Thank you for your wonderful letter today, for showering me with your sentiment and support. I never want to forget what you have said and will use it as a reminder for when those who throw stones come calling.  



I'm the Cool Mom of 4, Married to the Preacher Man, but at times I'm a little more Sass than Saint!

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  1. There is nothing quite like a sister's bond. I have two older sisters myself and we have all stood up for one another over the years and stood behind each other even when we make mistakes.

  2. I have a big sister and yeah…there's nothing like a sisterly bond. I hope my twin girls will share the same love and bond 🙂 Beautiful post! xoxoo

  3. I was an only child most of my life. I have female cousins that treated me like a sister. Then I had a step sister that treated me like I wasn't worth the dirt under her shoes. I sometimes wonder what it would have been like if I had actual sisters.

  4. Ahh yes, I always try to stay away from the pastor and wife unless absolutely necessary because I do see the weight of the title they carry and how they have to attend to all in the church family.
    Why then should I run to them, her for silly things.

    I'm so glad you are there to uphold your sister in her time of need. It's a beautiful love and most definitely a blessing.

    I hope soon these people will come to see her heart in all matters as you see her.

  5. This post brought tears to my eyes. My sister passed away when she was an infant, so I never got the chance to experience the bond of growing up with my sister by my side. That being said, I have always admired the bonds of other women with their sisters. It's such a beautiful thing.

  6. I grew up with brothers and all though I do love them we have never been all that close. I also grew up in a family that was more likely to turn their back on you instead of support you when you needed it most. It's wonderful that you and your sister have such a special bond!

  7. Shash, to answer your question about why do people judge: because they expect a pastor's wife to be perfect, not like a real person. I think that if they see a perfect person, it helps them believe. The same goes with a pastor. Of course, it is not an expectation that anyone can live up to: perfection. We all have to live our lives and try our best.

    BTW, I loved the photo of you and your big sis now and then.

    Jenna Em

  8. That is such a sweet post 🙂

  9. Beautiful post! You are really blessed. I have two sister but they live far away =( Thanks for sharing.

  10. Wonderful post! I feel the love jumping off the page.

  11. Love you both. I have been so lucky to watch and observe these 3 amazing sisters, to watch them surround Lise when she was hurting, to circle the wagons, put on protective gear and throw themselves into the line of fire. Great job Ladies. The past few years have been rough, but look how you all emerged! With grace and strength. Xo n

  12. This made me completely tear up. My sister and I have a 14 year age difference, so we aren't really close. I wish we could be as close as you two. Great post.

  13. Amy @beyondcreatives

    Love you!

  14. Omg! Sorry for the term but seriously how enlightening is this, my sister and I are 7 years apart and do not see eye to eye on a lot of things but I would do anything for her, but your sister bond warms my heart and as usual leaves me blubbering! And what ever you did as a teenager I say, WHO CARES! We all did things in our teens we are not proud of but it's called growing pains and finding your way in life and at the end most of us choose the right path and some do not, the important thing is you choose the right path when the growing pains were done and turned out a beautiful, caring and terrific woman, I wonder what you would find in the stone throwers past? Anyone who says nothing they were an angel is not telling the truth!

  15. Stopping by from Blissdom list of attendees and I am from Arkansas! So excited you are coming to TX, this is my first year!

    My sisters are so close, I have three of them and they are each very different! So sweet to get that from your sister.

  16. As a teenager you had a few wild ways. Nothing much to write home about. You lived, and played. But no matter. For as much as you had teenage moments you were still light years ahead in maturity.

    You had a firm grasp on the concept of loyalty, work ethic, and long term planning. But the most impressive quality for a teenage girl was your unending capacity for love. These qualities proceeded you like a flag.

    If people are trying to make you appear worse then you were, it is simply because they burn their flame much less brightly then you burn yours, and therefore they are threatened by how vivacious you were, and are.

    Some people mistake exuberance with flightiness. Some people mistake dancing for easiness. And those same people often mistake extroverts for skeazy bubble heads. I think they matter less the colour of your coffee. Because they have to be them, so in essence they lose.

    They are afraid of life, and afraid to live out loud. They are close minded, and black and white, and therefore the best parts of being alive are hidden from their view. Pity them. I can not imagine having to live as they do.

    I have one rule of thumb, I don't want anyone I don't particularly like to like me. Otherwise I will have to wonder how much like them I may be. You were fine. And I should know, I work with teenagers everyday. Your rebellions and apron string cutting were low level. They can kiss your ass.

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